Patterns of Female Bullying - Val Besag

Anushka Asthana
The Observer, Sunday 20 January 2008

That, say experts, is exactly how girl-on-girl bullying starts and develops. 'Boys have a hierarchy based on physical power, girls have a hierarchy based on friendships,' said Besag, a former teacher.

'It is about who is Little Miss Popular. They have a best friend, a very best friend and a very, very best friend. It is an intense relationship with constant communication.

'They tell each other secrets but that tight bonding leads to jealousy and they are wary of what their friends are doing, who they are talking to.' When girls bully, she added, 'it can be more distressing because the attack is emotional and involves social exclusion.'

In her new book, Challenging Girls, Besag lists the typical forms of abuse used by girls, from making a teenager feel invisible to spreading secrets or gossip, calling them names, staring at them or sending hurtful text messages.

The guidance, which is based on time spent with thousands of girls, includes suggesting teenagers read the book Cat's Eye by Margaret Atwood and watch the film Mean Girls starring Lindsay Lohan.

In the movie Lohan's character, Cady, joins the Plastics, the alpha clique of pretty, popular and bitchy girls at school with the aim of humiliating queen plastic, Regina. But the experience leads Cady into a bitchy world and it is she who ends up as the meanest girl in school.

Besag said the film could be used to show girls how they could be manipulated.

'The ways that girls and boys bully tends to be different from a very young age,' said Liz Carnell, director of the charity Bullying UK. 'Girls use social means; they take someone's friends away. In happier times they shared confidences and secrets and when they fall out they spread rumours and tell people, put it on the internet. They do not realise that they can be traced, that they have left behind their digital fingerprints.' Carnell said cyber-bulling by phone and online was the new version of passing notes in class.

In fact a five-year research project that is still ongoing has found that 'text-bulling' is far more prevalent in girls than boys. The work, which has so far involved 14,227 children, found that one in five girls reported being sent bullying messages by text, compared with just one in 10 boys. Research, which will be published later this year, found that girls were far more likely to send texts calling each other nasty names and ones that bitched about friendships and relationships.

At Cheltenham Ladies' College, Tuck said the same 'emotional intelligence' that could fuel back-stabbing in teenagers could also be channelled into turning women into successful leaders.

'It is women's strength and their potential weakness,' said Tuck, who felt teaching girls to manage relationships was key.

In the book, Challenging Girls, Val Besag advises teachers to use the film Mean Girls, starring Lindsay Lohan, to help girls understand the ways in which they could be manipulated. She suggests running sessions with girls to discuss the differences between gossip and rumour and to look into why and how girls bully each other. Part of the task is identifying the bully; a girl who will often appear to be little Miss Popular. Girls, the book says, must be informed about the power of secrets and know that while they are a strong bonding mechanism, they can be turned against them. Also key is helping girls learn how to make friends in difficult circumstances.